Coach W’s FAQ

Posted on April 1, 2011. Filed under: Q&A | Tags: , , , , , , , |

As you may have observed on this blog site is a FAQ page.

I am still in the process of compiling a proper list of questions and answers, and then filtering them down to the ones that have the most application to the general population.  Here are a few that I have so far.  If you wish to contribute please post questions in the comment section.


Q:  I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is that true?
A:  No.  Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it.  You should not waste them on exercise.  You see, everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.  If you really want to live longer, you should take a nap.


Q:  My doctor says I should cut down on red and other meat, and eat more fruits and vegetables.  Do you agree?
A:  Not with your doctor.  Look at nature.  A bull eats hay and corn and these are vegetables.  So, if you eat a steak (cows) all you are doing is delivering vegetables to your system in a way that tastes good.  Chickens feed on grain, so eat chickens to get the grains you need.  Eat free-range beef because you’ll get a lot of field grass (green leafy vegetables).  Pigs eat everything all day long.  So, a good-sized pork chop gives you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetables.


Q:  Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is really distilled wine.  Beer is made out of grain.  So you should drink MORE alcohol to get your fruits and grains.  I suggest Jack Daniels.


Q:  How can I calculate my body/bodyfat ratio?
A:  Easy. How many bodies do you have?  One.  Do you have any fat?  Yes.  Therefore you have a body and you have fat so your ratio is one to one.


Q:  What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A:  None, really.  Remember the saying, “if you feel like exercising, lie down until the feeling goes away.”


Q:  Are fried foods really bad for you?
A:  No, just the opposite, they are good for you.  Fry all your foods in vegetable oil.  That way, you get additional vegetables mixed in, and don’t doctors say that vegetables are good for you?


Q:  Should I do a lots of core to keep me small and trim around the middle?
A:  No.  Exercising a muscle causes it to get bigger.  If you want a small waist, you should never exercise that area.  Take naps instead.  And breathe shallowly, wouldn’t want to overtax the internal core muscles.


Q:  I love chocolate, but a lot of it is bad for me, right?
A:  Wrong.  Chocolate is made from cocoa beans and beans are vegetables and a source of protein.  So not only is eating chocolate good for you it’ the perfect low carb diet.  And everybody knows low-carb is the fastest way to lose fat right?  And again, doctors say you need a lot of vegetables, so eat more chocolate.



Q:  Is a lot of swimming good for my figure and to lose weight?
A:  Whales do a lot of swimming and what are they called again?


Q:  I am really round body wise but I want to get some  shaping to my body.  What should I do?
A:  I checked a geometry book and it says round is a shape, so you have shape already.  Congratulations!! 🙂


Q:  My goal is to go to the grave with a strong well-preserved body like Jack LaLanne,  good idea?
A:  No.  You shouldn’t jog to the grave, in a well-preserved body like Jack LaLanne.  Instead, you should limp in badly, with a 12oz triple bacon cheeseburger in one hand and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels in the other, like my favorite uncle.  You should be worn out, but happy, just like he is.



Best Health, 😉
Coach W

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